New Job!!!

Hello to one and all. I have a career update. I was recently hired to be a radio announcer for a local radio group. I'm on the air Saturdays and Sundays in the afternoon and evening. Scan the airwaves for me in the La Cross/Winona area on the weekends. If you find me, email me at tim.gray.matter@gmail.com. I look forward to hearing from you.

Beware the Ides of March Madness

Ah, the second season of NCAA basketball is underway. How are your brackets doing? My bracket isn't faring as well this year. Hope your teams are still in to win.

El Nino causes a sticky situation

Here the latest Gray Matter Column. Hope you don't have to pay too much to dress up your pancakes.

E-mail any comments to tim.gray.matter@gmail.com

TDG

Bring on the Spring

Spring can't come soon enough for me!!! That's the impetus behind my latest column.

E-mail any comments to tim.gray.matter@gmail.com

Thanks!

Marching in Like a Lion

Ok. Ok. So it's been a week since my last post. It's been a busy week with a massive snow storm and all. Granted, I didn't do much shoveling,that's because of my arthritis in my knees and weak back. That doesn't stop me from writing about the weather, though.

Last weekend in the La Crosse, WI area where I live, received roughly 2 feet of snow. Whether it was both a right foot and left foot, I don't know. What I do know is that yesterday, Feb. 28, the Upper Midwest was supposed to get the March lion of a winter storm complete with snow, sleet, freezing rain and so on. That wasn't good for me. I'm supposed to have a job interview in Eau Claire at 9 am on March 1. That's where I am now. I'm in Eau Claire. I drove up to Eau Claire Wednesday evening to avoid much of the foul weather so I wouldn't have to do battle with the March lion twice in one day. Since I'm interviewing for a job that requires a fair amount of travel, I hope March will, as the old saying goes, go out like a lamb. That, in part, is the sentiment of my next column to appear in the Coulee News, Onalaska Community Life, Holmen Courier and on this blog.

Stay warm. Stay dry. Stay safe.

TDG

Scoring a couple camels

Hello Frieds,

Here is the latest bit of zany information packaged into my weekly Gray Matter column.

Please e-mail any comments to tim.gray.matter@gmail.com

Tim

Someone please wake me when this whole Anna Nicole Smith stuff is over.

I turned on the TV this afternoon to watch Fox News. At first, I thought the station on the TV was a broadcast network with a soap opera. Silly me, it was a soap opera, all right. It was the hearing for custody of Anna Nicole Smith's body. It's just a real-life episode of "As the Stomach Churns". I'll see what's on the Golf Channel.

Surely, You Can't Be Sirius? I am XM, and don't call me Shirley

By now, you've probably heard of the proposed merger of Sirius and XM Satellite Radio. What will become of that? What will the FCC, SEC and Congress say about such an affair? Does this not fall into the jurisdiction of the Sherman Anti-Trust Act? Shareholders from each company must be scratching their heads as they tune in to either Oprah (on XM) or Howard Stern (on Sirius, not the guy involved with Anna Nicole Smith).

It's too bad neither of the companies are having the boon they once enjoyed. Hopefully, this won't shut-down satellite radio. Having commercial free radio from coast-to-coast makes roadtrips all the more easier to bear. I can only stand to listen to the same CD so many times. At least satellite radio has a myriad of choices for your listening pleasure.

Stay home dad wears many hats

Here is my latest article as seen in the Coulee News, Onalaska Community Life and Holmen Courier.

Email any comments to tim.gray.matter@gmail.com

Illegal Aliens Getting Credit Cards

I agree that America is the Land of Opportunity and Freedom, but that does not come without responsibility. I'm a little miffed that Bank of America is issuing credit cards to illegal aliens sans Social Security Cards. The number of cards issued to illegals may be a drop in the bucket in relation to the people here legally, but that's not the point. Why should anyone, period, be able to get a credit card in this country without a Social Security card? It would be so easy to bilk Bank of America out of millions of dollars by illegals opening multiple accounts under fictitious names. Who will pay for this economic snafu? Legal U.S. citizens, who are customers of Bank of America, will pay for it through higher finance charges and interest rates. It's bad enough consumers have to pay for identity thieves' knavery, but do people have to be subjected to paying for illegals taking advantage of the American economic system?

Dave and Oprah, together once more

Here is my latest column for the Coulee News, Onalaska Community Life and Holmen Courier.

Email comments to tim.gray.matter@gmail.com

Enjoy!!!

Houston, we have a problem: 2007 Space Oddity

Love does strange things to people. Nothing more strange than strapping on an adult diaper, driving almost 1,000 miles and confronting the woman who is the romantic rival for your the one you love. That, friends, is what astronaut Lisa Nowak did. You heard about it on the news. Her story is orbiting the blogosphere faster than the Space Shuttle when it orbits Earth.

I just wonder if she even thought of the love ballad by rocker Meat Loaf, "I would do anything for love, but I won't do that." Falling into the category of "that" is kidnapping and killing.

Sadly, her life is starting to re-enter the Earth's atmosphere at terminal velocity crashing and burning.

Skip the middle man in politics

Here is the full text of Gray Matter for this week. The edited version can be found online at www.couleenews.com

Enjoy! - tdg

Skip the middle man in politics

Every Sunday, C-SPAN provides American viewers with a glimpse into British Parliament with the Prime Minister’s Questions, a weekly give-and-take forum between Tony Blair and the members of the House of Commons. It’s almost like Fox News’ O’Reilly Factor on steroids. Tony Blair’s detractors fire witty dissent against him directly instead of through the media and Tony Blair returns fire in kind.

It would be entertaining if President Bush and Congress adopted the same format for the President’s Weekly Radio Address. The current format of the president speaking on national radio followed by the opposing party response is, shall we say, blasé.
A live, witty exchange on television between the Executive and Legislative branches of government just might be the vehicle for transparency in government.

I don’t know what that kind of weekly exchange would look like. So, I offer, by way of example, a parody of last week’s State of the Union whose topics will spill over into Bush’s weekly remarks. Included are possible responses from legislators on both sides of the aisle.

Bush: [The majority of the speech]

Senator Ted Kennedy: Zzzzzzzzzzz. (Dreaming about a government without conservatives.)

Senator Barack Obama: I hope da Bears win the Superbowl. I hope da Bears win the Superbowl.

Bush: First, we must balance the federal budget. We can do so without raising taxes.

Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi: Yeah right, mister. That’s what you think. I’m glad I’m sitting behind you to see your better side. I don’t think I could look at you face-to-face. Oh, that’s right…I told the folks to show George some respect. It’s a good thing he’s not a mind reader.

Bush: We need to…conserve 8.5 million more gallons of gasoline by 2017.

Vice-President Cheney: Thanks for the warning, boss. I’ll be sure to sell short on my Halliburton stock options long before 2017 so I can have some sort of income in retirement.

Bush: …to win the war on terror we must take the fight to the enemy.

Senator Hillary Clinton: I don’t have the penchant for fighting like you. But I’ll tell you one fight I’ll bring – my candidacy to occupy the Oval Office. I’m in to win, you know. I just have to keep my husband away from the interns.

Bush: [On his proposed Civilian Reserve Corps] It would ease the burden on the Armed Forces by allowing us to hire civilians with critical skills to serve on missions abroad when America needs them.

Senator John McCain: Hire civilians, huh? This sounds like something out of a Vince Flynn novel. Something similar to Mitch Rapp’s ex-Special Ops contacts operating a civilian government- contract company is an excellent idea. Our men and women in uniform, God bless ‘em, need a break. Maybe we can get Jack Bauer, MacGyver and the A-Team while we’re at it.

OK, so the responses are from my imagination. However, I would love to see a live, spirited debate TV show between President Bush and the members of Congress each week. Hopefully, Jerry Springer won’t volunteer to produce it.

Bunco boosts acid reflux drug sales

On January, 30, The Wall Street Journal ran a story beginning on the front page regarding Procter and Gamble's increased sales of Prilosec OTC. This sales spike is due in part, according to P & G officials, to women recommending the drug to each other at their bunco parties. Looks like P & G rolled the dice and came up a winner.

Super Sweet 16

Some of you may remember your 16th birthday. You may have been allowed to have some friends come over, have supper and do stupid stuff until your parents told you knock it off for the night.

I think for my 16th birthday my parents took me to my favorite restaurant on the Seattle Waterfront, Ivar's Acres of Clams, and reminded me to put gas in the car every so often. I dont't think they spent over $100 on that meal. I was happy with that.

Last week, I came across a show on MTV called My Super Sweet 16. This show smacks of teen angst mixed with overweening hubris. (Go to www.m-w.com for definitions.)Honestly,what sane parent would allow their 16 year-old to throw a budgetless birthday bash at a five-star hotel while parading around as a princess with an $8,000 Versace tiara, circa 17th century Venetian style dress and a "court" consisting of her "friends"? Or what levelheaded mother and father rent a city's civic center for her to invite 500 kids from her school and the girl makes her grand appearance via a magician's magic trick? Not this parent.

I love my kids dearly, but they do NOT need to have a $300,000 party to celebrate their birthday. Yes, one of those parties cost in the neighborhood of $300,000. I can think of far more constructive ways to spend that kind of money on, say, a house, save for my kids' college education etc... I don't think I would spend $300 on my children's birthday parties. The only time I will for sure spend over $1,000 on a party for my kids is for when they get married.

Am I a cheapskate? No, I love my kids enough so they don't develop an overweening hubris about them.

Dieting ideas you can sink your teeth into

Click on the link to read my latest witty take on life.

Email comments to me at tim.gray.matter@gmail.com

SOTU

Last night, President Bush gave his sixth State of the Union (SOTU) address. It was kind of a "ho-hummer". The good parts were watching the faces of Hillary Clinton, Patrick Leahy, Ted Kennedy (who may have been sleeping and dreaming of a secular-progressive nation), Vice-President Cheny, and especially Madam Speaker Nancy Pelosi. Hillary glared at President Bush nearly the entire time. Leahy looked like he was plotting a calculated ploy for Vermont to secede to Canada. Mr. Cheney sported a coy smile when the Commander-in-Chief spoke about alternate energy sources for our nation to use other than oil. "What will happen to Halliburton?" was the look that came across on the veep's face. So much for stock-options. Mrs. Pelosi had the look of the night. When Bush proclaimed he would take the burden off the American people and not raise taxes, the darling of San Francisco furrowed her brow, rolled her eyes and mouthed, "Oh, sure."

That was the most interesting part of the SOTU. They say a picture is worth a thousand words...well, so is a look on someone's face.

New Orleans

It's great to see the city of New Orleans regain its vivacity after Hurricane Katrina. Some of that can be attributed to Mr. Bush. He has boosted the morale of the hurricane ravaged city. He may have exhibited times of coming up short for the people in New Orleans, but they were quick to forgive him and move on. Yes, Mr. Bush is an icon to the fine folks of New Orleans.

"What's with all the praise for the president?", you ask. The Bush of whom I speak isn't old enough to be president. Not to mention this Bush probably has a higher job approval rating. I'm talking about Reggie Bush, star runningback for the New Orleans Saints.

With that said, I'm sure you can agree with my first paragraph above.

Bill and Hillary Part 2?

Remember back in the 90s when the media sometimes joked about Hillary being the real president instead of Bill? This time it could be reality. She could very well circumvent constitutional term limits for the presidency.

Today, Hillary Clinton announced her candidacy for the White House. Could it be that she chose January 20, 2007 to announce her presidential intentions 10 years after her hubby took the oath of office for the second time, or 2 years before she could? Was that a calculated move, or what?

If she does win, she'd better keep the First-Gentleman (???) away from the interns. We know what happened the last time they had their mail sent to 1600 Pennsylvania Ave.

Would a 33-hour work week bug you?

Click on the link below to read my January 18, 2007 column found in Coulee News, Onalaska Community Life and Holmen Courier.

http://www.couleenews.com/articles/2007/01/21/opinion/00graymatter.txt

Please e-mail comments to tim.gray.matter@gmail.com

Thanks for reading!

Hagel vs. Rice

January 11, 2007 - Secretary of State Rice testified before the Senate Foreign Relations Committee to bolster President Bush's case for increasing the number of troops in Iraq. A visibly irritated Senator Chuck Hagel (R-NE) challenged Ms. Rice about the president calling for, what Mr. Hagel called, an "escalation" of the war in Iraq. Secretary Rice responded, "I don't know if we would call it an escalation...[but] an augmentation."

Escalation. Augmentation. You say tomato. I say to-mah-to. What would Bill O'Reilly say?

Blizzard brews up brouhaha over the bean juice

You can view my January 11, 2007 column by clicking on the link below:

http://www.couleenews.com/articles/2007/01/17/opinion/02coffee.txt

Please e-mail comments to tim.gray.matter@gmail.com to let me know what you think.

Welcome!!!

Hi folks, welcome to Gray Matter.

Gray Matter is the title of my column that appears in the Coulee News, Onalaska Community Life and Holmen Courier. Look for more publications to be added soon.

Each week, witty observations of the world at-large will appear in these publications and on my blog. Politics, sports, entertainment and business are just a few of the topics Gray Matter will cover.

Thanks for viewing my blog.

Tim